New Orts #55

February 2 MMXXV

O God help me bless my soul is there any pleasure quite so artless and glorious and simple and unadorned and productive and restorative as a blazing hot shower when you really really want a hot shower? When you are not yet fully awake, when you are wiped from two hours of serious basketball, when you are weary and speechless after trip or trauma? Thank You, Inventiveness, for making a universe where there is water, and heat, and nozzles, and towels, and steam, and hairbrushes, and razors for cutting that line that distinguishes your beard from your chest, and toothbrushes. Thank You most of all, Generosity, for water…
— Brian Doyle, A Book of Uncommon Prayer: 100 Celebrations of the Miracle & Muddle of the Ordinary

"You have an exorbitant auditory impediment," replied the doctor, ever conscious of the necessity for maintaining a certain iatric mystique, and fully aware that "a pea in the ear" was unlikely to earn him any kudos. "I can remove it with a fishhook and a small hammer..." ... Dr. Iannis returned at six o'clock and hooked the softened pea successfully without the aid of a hammer, small or otherwise. He worked it out deftly enough, and presented it to the couple for their inspection. Encrusted with thick dark wax, rank and malodourous, it was recognisable to neither of them as anything leguminous. "It's very papilionaceous, is it not?" enquired the doctor.
— Louis de Bernières, Corelli's Mandolin (1995)

Life was a blur. Or so he thought. The thing was, he'd been diagnosed with a small-time astigmatism. Why think otherwise? But when the doctor told him, "Read the chart," and he replied, "Which one?" even the smart, young nurse said, "Uh oh."
— Greg Williamson, Binocular Diplopia, The Kenyon Review, Winter 2001.