Orts #724

 
If you want a stable relationship, get a horse.
    -- anon.
 
Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.
     — sign at Ponsonby [Ontario] Public School
 
Beauty is in the ears of the bow-holder.
     -- Ron Strauss
 
Statistics are like bikinis.  What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.  
     -- Aaron Levenstein (1911-1986)
 
He is an ill Woodman that knows not the size of the Beast by the proportion of his Excrement.
     — Andrew Marvell, in An Account of the Growth of Popery and Arbitrary Government in England (1677), quoted in The Coffee House: A Cultural History, by Markman Ellis (2004)
 
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
     -- Spike Milligan